wan an.....came back from work again....recently came home quite late...then spent alot of money....got scolded by mum n dad....veri pissed off recently.....cant tok to anyone bout it.....u r no longer there.....but its ok....life still haf to go on.....a big part of me still hope u r there..but....cant....haf to change my mindset.....for the past two daes....had two different kind of dreams....one was for the past.....the other one is for recently de.....not sure which one i like better.....sumhow thinks tt the past one is more real cause it happens before....but bu ke nen le....todae heard sumthing i didnt wanna hear.....whole mood was spoilt upon hearing it....y m i so affected by u.....juz the mentioned of ur name will get me into such a lousi mood....anywae.....i wan earn alot alot money....then can get instrument...then whole dae stay at home practice...jiu no need go out...oso no need to hear anything bout u......but theres friendster tt alwaes tempt me.....i haf such lousi resistance....ming zhi dao hui bu kai xing..hai bian bian qu kan.....maybe i juz wanna find out if life is alrite for u.....but even if its not....i oso cant do anything to hlp.....stupid me.....damn dumbo....when can i ever find sumone like tt again....?no idea....juz haf to carry on looking for friends.....real quality friends....even if its one.....i'm contented....this time o's don think i can do as well as prelim....coz alot of things happen b4 o's.....i even found out sumthing heart shattering for me during the o's......but i juz put on a brave front n go to the exams.....no choice.....my heart is so luan during the exams......although everydae i go through is veri dull n boring....i prefer it this wae....cause i need not feel upset or anything.....i wont go zhi sha de.....cause if want kill myself...i would be dead b4 my o's.....or maybe during it...cause those were defintitely the lowest point of my life......anywae....juz wanna fa xie my feelings.......nxt time update again.....